write
Feb 7
20 Great Things About Dating a Writer
Posted by kathrynv at 7:56 am in relationships, writer's life

Earlier this week I wrote a post about how I don’t necessarily tend to date other writers. But that doesn’t mean that I think people shouldn’t date writers. In fact, I think that there are a lot of great things in store for you if you decide to date a writer – especially if you aren’t one yourself.

Here’s a look at 20 reasons to date a writer:

  1. Writers will romance you with words. Dating a writer means that you will receive love letters. Quirky notes will turn up in your pockets. Flowery descriptions of everything great about you will be shared on special occasions. See my recent post on things to write someone for Valentine’s Day for an idea of what you may receive when dating a writer.
  2. Writers will write about you. Date a blog writer and you’ll find yourself bookmarking that blog to see if there are references to you in it. Date a poet and you will see yourself reflected back in some of the lines of poetry that the person recites at open mic nights. Your narcissistic tendencies will be happily fed when you date a writer. Of course, the drawback here is that dating a writer means that personal details about you may turn up in written form and the writer may write much less flattering things about you if you break up.
  3. Writers will take you to interesting events. Writers, as a general rule, are curious people. We like to go to lots of different types of things so that we can widen the boundaries of our life experience and therefore broaden our writing. When you date a writer, you can expect to be invited to everything from burlesque shows to roller derby races to foreign countries.
  4. Writers will remind you that money doesn’t matter so much. People who write for a living don’t do it to get rich. They know that money may matter but it’s not the most important thing in life. Dating a writer will help to remind you that it’s important to pursue your passions.
  5. Writers will acknowledge you and dedicate things to you. Writers are big on acknowledging those who have helped them. Almost every book at the bookstore has a page for dedications and / or acknowledgments. Song writers and poets frequently include a dedication on their work. Date a writer and the world will know that you’ve supported someone in the arts.
  6. Writers will offer you an interesting perspective on things. There is a writing quote about how writers taste life twice – once in the living and once in the re-telling on the page. Writers pay attention to interesting details in life so that they can recapture the world in their writing. When you date a writer, you will be privy to all of their insights about life’s events and experiences – and you may find that you get to see things in a whole new light.
  7. Writers are smart. The majority of writers are intelligent people. They are usually well-read and well-educated which means they can hold their own in many types of conversations. Dating someone dumb just isn’t fun for long; dating someone smart is always an interesting challenge.
  8. Writers are really passionate. Writers use all of their senses. They are passionate about their work and passionate about their lives. Your life will be enhanced by this passion for things when you date a writer.
  9. Writers can think through their feelings. Writers may be really passionate but most of them don’t fly off-the-handle with emotion. They like to take time to process things. This ability is a true asset in a long-term relationship.
  10. Writers enjoy their solitude. Unless you’re in the honeymoon phase of your relationship, you probably want at least some time to yourself and time to spend with your friends and family. Writers want time to be alone to write and think which means that you’ll get your own much-needed space as well.
  11. Writers are creative. This sounds obvious but it has a deeper truth to it. Creative people are more capable of coming up with solutions to problems in life. Dating a writer means a chance to come up with creative solutions to life’s problems.
  12. Writers wear their hearts on their sleeves. Sure this depends on the writer but most writers are pretty good at articulating what is going on with them. If they adore you, you’ll know it. If they’re mad at you, you probably won’t have to guess at why.
  13. Writers will teach you cool new words. Writers love words. It can be irritating when they use ten dollar words in normal conversations but it can also be kind of fun to stretch your mind and build your vocabulary. Expect to play lots of Scrabble when dating a writer.
  14. Writers may be able to adjust their schedules for you. Writers who can set their own schedules might be willing to rearrange things to spend time with you. They might be happy to meet you for a long lunch or to spend a luxurious morning in bed with you. Don’t expect the writer you’re dating to give up all of his or her time – they have to work regularly to pay their bills just like anyone else – but do know that there are some scheduling perks possible when you date a writer.
  15. Writers can find 1000 ways to tell you why they like you. Writers are wordy and they like to express themselves. You can bask in the glow of hearing good things about yourself in ways that you’ve never heard them before. Of course, some writers will also be all too happy to tell you your faults so make sure you date a kind writer!
  16. Writers communicate in a bunch of different ways. Most writers are pretty flexible in how they communicate. They’ll be just as content to get an email from you or to chat on IM with you as they are to talk on the phone (maybe even more so). This means that however you communicate regularly is probably fine for the writer you’re dating. 
  17. Writers can work from anywhere. This is nice because it means that writers can happily travel with you. They may have to take a laptop and spend some time at the hotel when you go to the beach but you can enjoy much easier vacation planning with a writer than with someone who works a 9-5 job.
  18. Writers are surrounded by interesting people. Writers have a lot of characters in their lives. If you like meeting interesting people, just plan on being the date that goes along to parties and other gatherings with a writer.
  19. Writers are easy to buy gifts for. Writers are happy with little things. Most writers like getting books as gifts. Since they aren’t really into the pursuit of money, they aren’t going to be chasing you for the big bucks you spend on them. This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t spoil a writer if you want to but you should know that they value thoughtfulness way more than most material things.
  20. Writers are sexy. There is a reason that people have fantasies about the school librarian. Male or female, those bookish types are hot hot hot.

So, why wouldn’t you date a writer?!

20 Great Things About Dating a Writer has 58 Comments

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  1. What’s Up Wednesdays: Writing and Money « Beyond the Rhetoric wrote:
    February 11th, 2009 at 11:01 am

    [...] Vercillo kicks us off with 20 great things about dating a writer. Valentine’s Day is only a few short days away, so there is a little bit of love in the air. [...]

  2. Real Words Returns to the Blog Carnival | Real Words wrote:
    February 11th, 2009 at 11:32 am

    [...] although it’s not a blog carnival, I’d like to point out that my recent post on reasons to date a writer was included in a fun roundup of Valentine’s Day writing posts that also included posts of [...]

  3. This Week at the Blog Carnival | Real Words wrote:
    February 22nd, 2009 at 12:42 pm

    [...] post on Reasons to Date a Writer was part of the Everything Worth Reading Carnival. Cool posts from that carnival include those on [...]

  4. Cheril Vernon wrote:
    March 1st, 2009 at 1:34 am

    I thought this was a really good post. I like your blog. I’m going to send this to one of my single writing friends. She’ll get a kick out of this.

    @ Cheril … Thanks, I enjoyed writing it. Writers too often get a bad rep but we’re totally date-able. :)

  5. This Week at the Blog Carnival | Real Words wrote:
    March 1st, 2009 at 7:58 am

    [...] 20 Great Things About Dating a Writer was part of a blog carnival about health, fitness and dating along with loads of other posts on [...]

  6. Perfume that Smells like Books | Real Words wrote:
    March 3rd, 2009 at 12:22 pm

    [...] are hot. (That’s why you should date one.) But are we really people that typically smell good? I mean, I don’t think that most writers [...]

  7. Ryan wrote:
    March 13th, 2009 at 8:02 am

    Two times you say that writers are not in it for the money. I agree that love of writing should come first but when the rent is due being paid to do something is something you should be grateful for, not downplay it.

    @ Ryan … As someone who makes a living from writing, I definitely know that I do what I do to get paid. However, I also know that money isn’t the reason that I write which is the point of those two key reasons that it’s so great to date a writer. We need money like anyone else but we’re not driven by the pursuit of it. At least, I’m not. Are you?

  8. Jes wrote:
    March 22nd, 2009 at 2:40 pm

    Ah, this list makes me feel a lot better about myself, and I can honestly say I’m every one of these things on this list. I don’t, however, think I could date another writer; it’s like that…opposites attract thing. I’d like to have things in common with someone, but not have them be exactly like me (since I can hardly stand myself most of the time). I think you said something similar in your introduction, how you tend not to date other writers. I shall have to read your other post about it. ^_^ I enjoy your style.

    Thanks for the recognition, and keep writing yourself. :D

  9. AWriter wrote:
    March 22nd, 2009 at 2:43 pm

    I find this list to be a trite attempt at justifying. I mean come on, Bukowski taking you anywhere but the dog track or a bar, maybe a boxing match. What about the writing disease, when your significant other hates the fact you give more attention to abstracts and paper?

    @ AWriter … Sorry to see that you feel that way. I totally think that the benefits of dating a writer far outweigh the negatives. But it certainly does depend on the kind of writer that you date.

  10. 20 great things about dating a writer :: BenCrowder.net wrote:
    March 24th, 2009 at 2:53 pm

    [...] Posted in: Relationships, Writing Comment feed for this post I’m a writer, and this 20 great things about dating a writer post completely nails it. That’s me, folks. I should print this out and give it to girls when [...]

  11. Deena wrote:
    March 24th, 2009 at 3:00 pm

    This piece is sweet sweet sweet. And I’m now totally convinced that I’m an amazing person to date. Now I just need to find someone who realizes this. :)

    @ Deena – Thanks! And good luck in your search. Don’t settle for anything less than someone who realizes how lucky they are. :)

  12. Litopia Daily & Litopia After Dark » Litopia Daily 181: Last Time With Geoff wrote:
    April 3rd, 2009 at 2:07 am

    [...] Links: The Write Report, 20 Great Things About Dating a Writer [...]

  13. Manny wrote:
    May 16th, 2009 at 8:31 am

    Not only did I date a writer but I married one and all of the above is true and them some!!…………

  14. Jayme wrote:
    May 19th, 2009 at 3:13 pm

    L.O.V.E. this. Just sent it to my boyfriend, in case he didn’t already know he was dating someone extra cool.

    cute, thanks!

  15. california dreamer wrote:
    June 26th, 2009 at 11:17 pm

    Agree, my mind is always thinking in romantic ways, and find I write some of them… nice article

  16. Matt wrote:
    June 27th, 2009 at 2:58 am

    Pah. Too busy writing to bother finding a date :)

    Thanks for the ego boost though, I didn’t realise I was so rawesome!

  17. vernonc wrote:
    June 30th, 2009 at 6:05 pm

    Gee…I never knew I was so hot. I will have to be sure and tell her….

  18. MistressOfTheDorkness wrote:
    July 6th, 2009 at 4:36 pm

    This is… amazingly accurate. I have to send a link to my better half so he can be reminded of how wonderfully interesting I am.
    Thanks!

    @Mistress of the Dorkness – Thank you! I hope your partner appreciates you. :)

  19. Fill your paper « electric blue wrote:
    July 26th, 2009 at 8:21 am

    [...] something quite random, I came across this post. Makes it sound great to date a writer. Oh I’d like to be a writer too! But you already know [...]

  20. fen phen wrote:
    July 26th, 2009 at 8:13 pm

    Hi,
    I found your blog on google and read a few of your other posts. I just added you to my Google News Reader. Keep up the good work. Look forward to reading more from you in the future.
    Regards,
    Jane

  21. Richard wrote:
    August 23rd, 2009 at 6:03 am

    I wish I was a writer, how many blog posts should you have to qualify :)

  22. Sarah wrote:
    September 7th, 2009 at 10:46 am

    I guess my husband is very, very lucky to marry me because I am a writer who works from home so if he was to work somewhere else, I can just tag along. I don’t even have to ask him to sacrifice his job just to accommodate mine.

  23. Carrie Bailey wrote:
    September 7th, 2009 at 4:52 pm

    I agree with everything you’ve said, but I’m starting to find that working with and trying to promote writers is different than dating and loving them. Some need a lot of reassurance, but their passion is unparalleled.

  24. Mojo wrote:
    September 10th, 2009 at 5:53 am

    So what happens when a writer meets a photographer? Besides an endless supply of book jacket photos I mean?

    I could totally go for a writer. Even if reason #7 was the only one on the list. Smart is the new black. Or something.

  25. nando tampubolon wrote:
    December 8th, 2009 at 11:02 am

    wow,,i think i should go to the mall and looking for writer or maybe writer look like soon,,lol

  26. marissa wrote:
    December 9th, 2009 at 7:27 am

    So true! I love this piece!

  27. Jennifer wrote:
    December 9th, 2009 at 5:01 pm

    I like this post! Haha, I’m definitely Re-Tweeting it. :D

  28. Susan wrote:
    December 13th, 2009 at 10:11 am

    Love this post and I couldn’t agree more! One of my Christmas gifts to my boyfriend is getting one email per day counting down the 25 reasons I love him. I didn’t expect him to do it back, but he did and it’s nice to know that he appreciates my literary tendencies and my vocabulary. :)

  29. Marci Diehl wrote:
    January 15th, 2010 at 2:28 pm

    LOVE LOVE LOVE this post!!! You are so right. It gets dangerous when two writers fall in love with each each other – dangerous and delicious.

    Great blog Kathryn.

  30. T. Sanders wrote:
    January 23rd, 2010 at 3:20 pm

    Good and VERY true!!!

  31. Thoughts on Dating a Writer | Real Words wrote:
    February 1st, 2010 at 11:10 am

    [...] writing // A lot of people have commented on the article that I wrote here awhile back giving 20 good reasons to date a writer. The article was recently noticed by Examiner.com writer Melinda Maddison who writes a column about [...]

  32. e.lee wrote:
    February 26th, 2010 at 10:03 am

    great post
    makes me feel better already!

  33. Dating writers is probably awesome « I Should Be Writing wrote:
    April 25th, 2010 at 8:14 am

    [...] you right now that I hardly write without someone in mind. At any rate, check out the blog post here and enjoy [...]

  34. Tempestt wrote:
    September 15th, 2010 at 4:16 pm

    love this!!!

  35. Cernenus wrote:
    September 20th, 2010 at 5:56 pm

    Heh someone on tumblr discovered your post here and reposted it (without any credit to you.. bastages) and now it’s going around tumbler like crazy

    http://callhermayday.tumblr.com/post/1126511258/20-great-things-about-dating-a-writer

    but what you really ought to see is the response (in good humor) from another writer..

    http://agrammar.tumblr.com/post/1127991128/offended-by-rank-objectification-of-writers

  36. sunday sunshine « Crafts by Brianna wrote:
    September 26th, 2010 at 9:26 am

    [...] 20 Great Things About Dating A Writer (via Real Words) – This is me. To a t. Date me and 95% of those things will happen at one [...]

  37. Brenda Nepomuceno wrote:
    October 5th, 2010 at 6:23 pm

    This is such a great post I’ll have to translate it to my Portuguese blog. As a writer-in-the-making I can really relate to everything in your list – so much so that as soon as I read it I e-mailed it to my boyfriend (a lawyer, not a writer)… who totally agreed. I guess your theory is endorsed now. :)

  38. Elle wrote:
    October 10th, 2010 at 11:10 am

    My ex is a writer, and he had no idea how to express himself in words. Only on paper. I would never date a writer again. They are all in their imagination and nothing for real. Hate to generalize about all writers, but my experience has made me writer shy. I would much rather date someone who knows how to express themselves verbally… not just on paper.

  39. Loose Leaf Stories – Witers kiss and tell… in detail wrote:
    October 15th, 2010 at 10:05 am

    [...] that I’ve spewed the requisite bile, here’s the actual original piece: 20 great things about dating a writer. Really. Good stuff, nice [...]

  40. Wendy wrote:
    October 29th, 2010 at 7:22 pm

    I don’t know who you are, but I think I understand myself a little bit better right now. Thank you!

    - Wendy

  41. 20 great things about dating a writer « as simple as Jhe wrote:
    October 30th, 2010 at 6:13 pm

    [...] from this website i found it really interesting and quite [...]

  42. 20 great things about dating (and being friends with) a writer | wrote:
    October 31st, 2010 at 5:35 pm

    [...] a writer & dating enthusiast, I agree with most of what Kathryn Vercillo (author of Real Words) lists as good reasons to date a writer – I would argue that most of these are also reasons to [...]

  43. 20 great things about dating a writer « Xavier_Inner_Self wrote:
    November 1st, 2010 at 5:19 am

    [...] get it from here [...]

  44. David wrote:
    November 10th, 2010 at 3:05 pm

    Happy to see this post resurfacing on the web again, being passed around by friends.

    I linked to this post a year ago on Facebook and today it’s STILL one of my all-time favorite things ever written. Of course, I’m a sucker for writers so my opinion may be a bit biased. :)

  45. 20 Reasons to Date a Writer « Dear Jynx wrote:
    November 22nd, 2010 at 8:30 am

    [...] Real Words via [...]

  46. Writers – to date or not to date? wrote:
    December 21st, 2010 at 2:12 am

    [...] Source [...]

  47. The Triond Experiment wrote:
    December 21st, 2010 at 4:12 pm

    Oh I like this! I think I read this somewhere but I’m not sure. Anyway, good article!
    -The Triond Experiment

  48. Beware of Writers | James Russell Ament wrote:
    January 22nd, 2011 at 7:22 am

    [...] Very Good Reasons To…, and Why Date a Writer, which builds off of a third blog post called 20 Great Things About Dating a Writer, not nearly as funny because the author was playing it [...]

  49. When in doubt. | There is no fear in love wrote:
    March 9th, 2011 at 7:57 am

    [...] “20 Great Things About Dating a Writer” by Kathryn Vercillo [...]

  50. 20 Reasons to Date a Writer | Emily Vontom wrote:
    April 6th, 2011 at 6:56 am

    [...] From Real Words from a Real Writer [...]

  51. Sheryl wrote:
    June 6th, 2011 at 10:15 am

    I really got the sense of what a great writer can. They can feed you lies as easily as they write their fiction. They live in a fantasy world and have no sense of reality. I was engaged to a writer… we were together for 2 years. He sent me this link last week and just a few days later I found proof he was cheating on me for 4 months. The pages of emails he wrote this woman professing his love for her while feeding me the same lines is insane. I can’t believe how long this has been going on behind my back and he walked around here like nothing at all. He doesn’t even see the hurt he has caused. Like a said… fantasy world. Stay away from writers… they are LIARS!!!!

  52. Brynna wrote:
    June 13th, 2011 at 9:38 am

    I found this on StumbleUpon an I totally agree with it. Date a writer! We are awesome!

    @Sheryl:
    Just because HE was bad doesn’t mean that ALL writers are bad! Everyone is different! I am a writer and I am nothing like that and I will never be. What he did was wrong but not all writers would do the same thing. Don’t judge all writers from HIS actions!

  53. » Point and Counterpoint The Blue Candle Society wrote:
    June 24th, 2011 at 1:09 pm

    [...] idea of romance and writer to be more persuasive, but I suppose it is only fair to also present the original post and let my readers [...]

  54. sunday sunshine « Girl Seeks Place wrote:
    August 23rd, 2011 at 11:01 am

    [...] 20 Great Things About Dating A Writer (via Real Words) – This is me. To a t. Date me and 95% of those things will happen at one [...]

  55. 20 Reasons to Date a Writer (but not necessarily me) « wrote:
    September 5th, 2011 at 7:16 am

    [...] 20 Great Things About Dating a Writer by Kathryn Vercillo [...]

  56. Dnv wrote:
    October 12th, 2011 at 1:06 am

    Even thought i write in Spanish, and even thought this article is a little bit outdated, I must say, made me feel better altogether about myself… I live in a place where being a writer and not a public accountant (Nothing against them, is just the repetitiveness of the job that makes me go …. ggghhhh… nevermind….) is a little bit more than awkward… and yet… you make me feel hope… Thanks, i liked the article, as a fact, ill reproduce it, (translated) (with proper credits of course)

    Thanks! Take care, and… Salut!

  57. My Greatest Love Affair Revealed | Ophelia's Webb wrote:
    January 27th, 2012 at 5:01 am

    [...] and future lifestyle. I was in control of the words now. Like a gentle shift in an afternoon tryst, my lover was ready for whatever I wanted to do. Comical tales of romance, deeply themed stories of strife, marathon [...]

  58. 20 Great Things About Dating a Writer « The Midnight Disease wrote:
    February 6th, 2012 at 12:40 pm

    [...] You can read the original “20 Great Things” post here. [...]

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