Real Words

I recently filled out one of those “25 random things about me” notes that keep popping up all over Facebook lately. At first I was going to ignore the requests but then I saw how interesting it was to read what everyone else I know was writing about themselves so I decided to go ahead and participate in order to keep it going. Doing so reminded me of when I used to be really involved in penpalling back in high school.

Most people don’t know this about me but there was a point in time when I had over 100 pen pals that I corresponded with on a regular or semi-regular basis. All through handwritten letters sent via the USPS. I probably spent more of my class time in high school writing letters to people I didn’t know than getting to know the people I was in school with. I certainly spent more time writing letters than writing class assignments.

This obsession started out innocently enough. I got my first few pen pals through one of those ads they used to have in magazines that linked you to others through the mail. Then those people sent me the addresses of their pen pals. And my links to people across the nation started to grow.

Soon, one of these pen pals introduced me to friendship books. These were little paper booklets – you’d decorate a page with some information about yourself, include your address and sent it on to the next pen pal. It was a way to meet other people who wanted to share thoughts and friendships through letters.

At some point in my exchange of friendship books, someone sent me a “slam” which was more or less a booklet of questions that you answered about yourself. It is these slams that the Facebook note thing reminds me of – learning curious facts about people you do and don’t know in a somewhat communal manner. In addition to friendship books and slams, I started doing swaps with my pals (of everything including books, stickers, fabrics, movies, mix tapes …) and I started getting into zines.

But what was really treasured, of course, was the letter that came with the package. Through writing letters to others, I was able to start more clearly defining who I was. Through receiving letters from around the world, I was able to learn about things and places that I may have taken a long time to discover on my own. I still have many of the letters that were sent to me back then and I treasure those old friendships though I’m not in touch with too many of my old pals.

People probably still write letters by hand to their pen pals but those days are gone for me. After a few years, the urge to write letters gave way to the urge to write other things. I was introduced to email and instant messaging and then to MySpace and started doing some correspondence there – and eventually I moved on to Facebook and LinkedIn and blogging. I’ve participated in a few mail swaps and I do paperback book exchanges but for the most part my mailbox is pretty empty these days.

I would say this is neither good nor bad – or perhaps both. Getting stuff in the mail is fun and I miss that sometimes. But I like the instant gratification that comes with online communication and I find it a much easier way to stay in touch with people. Online social networking has many of the same great things about it that drew me to penpalling in the first place and I’m glad that it’s an outlet I have today when I’m not nearly as inclined to write long letters.

I’m sure it’s just a matter of time before there are tons of variations on this “25 random things” that become merely annoying to deal with but for now it’s kind of neat to see these little things popping up online that remind me of my pen pal days. 

Incidentally, you can feel free to add me on Facebook. I like new friends there. However, you should tell me something about who you are and why you want to add me. I’m not averse to adding strangers but I’d like to know why you want to know me!